Lupus Malus

Oh god. he was wearing a sweatshirt and he took it off before class started and his tank top rode up and his tummy was so sexy. omg. Hes beautiful. 

I was just wondering why it was so quiet on campus, and then I realized that I am currently partially dead in one ear.

Watching The Outs  Just makes me cry. 

LIFE, HURRY UP, I WANT A BOYFRIEND. 

I”m pretty sure if I wasn’t dancing and jumping around, I would have had the biggest boner in the whole world, due to the fact that my Zumba instructor tonight was fine as FUCK. 

I have two New Year’s resolutions, and they are as follows:

1.) I will work out, stop eating shitty foods, actually cook for once, and I will stick to it this time. I have to be patient with my body. I’ve looked for instant gratification in previous attempts; however, I am aware That it doesn’t work like that. I’ve not started with this one because I don’t have a gym here, and I am still on break, but as soon as I get back to UCF I am starting with it. I don’t want to do this for anyone but myself, I want to feel attractive and look good. I want nice clothes and to look good in them. I want to not feel fat and insecure everywhere I go. I will do this.

2.) I will stop giving a shit for other people’s issues. This, however, does not mean that I will be a shitty friend, it just means that I will focus on myself and no one else. I have too many things on my mind and I have enough to worry about. In the past I’ve tried fixing my friends problems, their shitty relationships, and their poor choices, but no more. The energy I’ve put into caring about their shit could have been used for much better things, not only to mention that they have not concerned themselves with my issues like I have with theirs. I am done with all of that and moving on.

Did I tell you guys that I got a blowjob over a pierogi once?

Good times.

I been really low these past few weeks and I don’t know how to fix it.

If I don’t get a job next semester I am So fucked.

I literally have $600 to my name. That will last me all of a month and a half.

This is so frustrating. Like, I have no one to help me. I am so scared. I have no issue with working and earning my own money, it’s just finding a job either on campus or somewhere that I can easily walk to.

Fuck this. Fuck being broke.

I just wish for once I didn’t have to worry about money. I wish I had that option.

Bleh.

So, I know it might seem crazy, but the other day I just started thinking about marriage and stuff. I mean, I’m turning 20 in two months and its just entering a whole new decade. Seriously, time flies and in ten years, ill be thirty. I have this dream of being married at like 26 and having a family an being settled down. I know I still have time, but time is just going by so fast.

I feel like I’m just gonna be a cat lady forever.

So, My brother that lives in Colombia got married on Friday, and I guess for his honeymoon he came up to Florida for the week to go on a cruise to the Bahamas for his honeymoon. However, On Sunday, him, his wife, and my little brother went up to Universal and they didn’t even have the decency to tell me. I Live half an hour from the fucking park and he couldn’t even come visit me or anything. 

I am really angry and annoyed right now. 

UGH